Ugly
by Queen-morganalefay
Summary: A one-shot songfic to the Exies song, Ugly, about Raven losing control due to the most dangerous of emotions. Rated PG due to mild language. R&R.


Are you ugly?  
A liar like me?  
A user, a lost soul?  
Someone you don't know  
Money it's no cure  
A Sickness so pure  
Are you like me?  
Are you ugly?

She threw the books she owned around her room haphazardly, using the dark energy granted her from birth, knowing this anger would destroy her, but no longer caring. She was a fool. Hope was a lost feeling, feelings were a lost cause, and causes were lost to her. How could she have ever loved him? How could she have ever looked upon him in that way, those deep, laughing emerald orbs the vortex that spiraled her down into this abyss in which she now lay. She hated him for being incapable of returning the love she had forbidden herself to feel for him, hated herself for hating him, and hated Terra for ever having broken his heart. Her pale skin and dark hair were common next to Terra's golden locks and glowing complexion. Terra's laugh rang out, clear and almost tangible; her laugh did not exist. Even petrified, even in that form of death she had placed upon herself, Terra was still thousands more than she could ever be. Raven glared at her reflection across the room in the meditation mirror. He could never love someone who was so repulsive. She was the symbol of death, and he the symbol of life. He was everything that she wished she could be, and couldn't be because of her damned blood.

We are dirt, we are alone  
You know we are far from sober!  
We are fake, we are afraid  
You know it's far from over  
We are dirt we are alone  
You know we are far from sober!  
Look closer, are you like me?  
Are you ugly?

The emotions she felt were intoxicating, luring her into a state of mind outlawed. She could feel the blood of her father boiling hot within her veins, awakening her senses long since deadened by meditation. Damn him. Damn everything. She was the lowest of creatures, unfit to be among such friends as she had. Evil stirred within her veins. Evil was her destiny. Being such an abomination left her the ultimatum of exile and exile alone. She could never be as they were, pure and free-hearted, able to laugh and be normal. Calm and tranquility, not frolic and merriment, were her paths…and yet here she was, without the slightest amount of control to help her pull herself from the darkness.

She felt herself fall to the floor, her violet eyes turning to blooded crimson, Her father had been right. Hatred now ruled supreme, taking her as its puppet. She couldn't be saved now. She was a monster. Her mouth was opened in a silent scream, and her mind sent out the telepathic message to the one who had brought her to this.

_You have taken my heart away and stomped it bloodless. You have taken my soul away and stolen its freedom. Take my life away, leave me breathless. Kill me now._

Turn a blind eye  
Why do I deny?  
Medicate me  
So I die Happy  
A strain of cancer  
Chokes the answers  
Are you like me?  
A liar like me?

If she could reach the blessed stretch of the other realm, the after life, then she could be happy. If only he would end it now, she would die happy. But, no, he would never come, and she would continue on this broken path of lies and deceit that she had paved in denying all those weeks that something was wrong. Tears stung at her eyes as the dark energy continued to seep throughout the Tower, possibly killing all that she had ever cared for. Now, she was probably a murderer. She was probably responsible for the death of the only friends she had ever had. Single handedly, she had led her life to ruin by feeling the one emotion she had denied herself. Without being able to stop it, she had thawed the ice from her cold heart and allowed herself the bliss of that poisoned emotion: love.

She loved him.

He could never possibly love a monster such as her.

I don't care, you don't care  
I'm bitter, you're angry.  
You don't care, I don't care  
You love you, just like me  
I blame you, you blame me  
I'm bitter, you're angry.  
You don't care, I don't care  
You love you, like me.

He would hate her now, as he had hated Terra. The anger that consumed her now would consume him. He would blame her for everything that would follow, the bitterness and destruction that would seize the world and fill it with the intoxicating dark magic.

Or perhaps he just wouldn't care. Perhaps she didn't care. She shouldn't care.

Her door slammed open and she heard someone run and stop just above her. She couldn't bring herself out of her uncontrollable state long enough to see who it was that knelt beside her. She couldn't bring herself to recognize the bearer of the arms that embraced her, even through the dark shields she had protected herself with, who coaxed her in that dark room.

"Raven, please stop. Don't think like this." A familiar voice whispered in her ear, sad instead of the anger she expected. She turned to Beast Boy with pleading eyes.

" 'Tell me how I should forget to think' " She quoted in a small voice, thinking back to the many books that had once rested on her shelves, and that line from a famous play of old. "Kill me now. Please, destroy me."

"No, Rae." He held her closer, despite the dark magic that she knew tore at his body. The pain…how could he stand the pain? How could he stand the pain that poured from her? Only she was to bear that pain…

We are dirt, we are alone  
You know we are far from sober!  
We are fake, we are afraid  
You know it's far from over  
We are dirt we are alone  
You know we are far from sober!  
Look closer, are you like me?  
Are you ugly?

She felt him turning her face toward him, looking into the red eyes of her, the red orbs that claimed so many lives taken, so many murders; they were the windows to all the battles of darkness she fought in despairing times. His emerald orbs were too kind for her to accept.

"I am a monster. You must destroy me."

He brought his face closer to hers, closing the gap between them, and kissed her, joining their souls for those moments. The dark energy disappeared and her anger subsided as his kiss told her what he could not, that he too had felt that anger, and that together they would never submit to it. She felt him pulling away from her, she saw him smile; felt him brushing away her dark locks and the tears that had fallen.

Are you Ugly?


End file.
